In the begining the first two lines began to have a rhyme
scheme, but then you just decided to go on feeling
instead of trying to think about how you feel and put
it in metaphors. I enjoyed reading your words they had a
lot of power and feeling. You had good wordage considering
its your feelings and not a contemplated very thought out poem.
Structure was okay, you should try to work on the line by
line, for instance

"Driven to the extreme of one's own mind
To find the one place in your heart that can't be filled with anything but her love"

The second line is twice the size of the first. The ending kind of
just fell off, it seems you didnt really know how to end it.
Sometimes the best thing to do is just leave the end off and
later you may think of something brilliant. Usually poems that
trail off sound better without the ending anyways. The last miniparagraph starting "life sucks..." that first line began on
a different tone than the rest of it. You started by just letting
us know how you felt and at the end you said an overall feeling
when you begin about one feeling go with that and try not to
stray. I would say this is a good piece though. Keep writing.

__________________
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