In the begining the structure was a little shaky and your rhyme
scheme wasnt so much on point but then as you got more
comfortable and open to your pain that you were writing about
it started to flow much better... like she said it has mad potential
you could just read through it once more and just look at the
words and i know you will come up with things that fit better and make it better as a whole... thats what i do.... i read it and read
it until i think its finally okay. everyone is their own worst critic.
all in all good piece. Keep writing.

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<BR><h3><color=black><center><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=left LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 width=300>*~*~*Lady Wun*~*~*</MARQUEE></color></center></h3>
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<BR><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=up LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 height=100> <center><font color=000000><I>*~*~*~*~*</p>I'm invisible to the unseen eye</p>I'm undeniable strength</p>*~*~*~*~*~*</p>Merk Squad</MARQUEE></center><I>