Ok this was lika sorta slow rap/poem,had consistant flow throughout and you used alot of relevant vocab,this peice had me thinking of your situation so it had nice imagery,i think maybe you should shorten your bars and use , to indicate flow if it was
more of a spoken word typa peice which it seems like.Overall i was feelin you and i could tell tha topic was from the heart so it was a pretty good drop as it didn't require any fancy wordplay because of the topic.

Hit mine if you got a spar minute.

Peace