This was bad flow wise, topic wasnt very original in my opinion, nothing really quoteable or stood out as dope, you atte,mpted wordplay in there, internals and multi's were there but basic, you need to have more to spice it up, flow was probably its strongest aspect to this, transistion was decent, i just wish you'd write something more challenging with deep emotion / imagery etc, these kinda topics get tired after a while.
Not bad though, you have potential.
Holla -
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84440