I dunno. The use of 'me' gave it a kind of personal and 'local' touch. But something seemed missing. Not that it was short as such, as i like short pieces.

Still, the first stanza was strong. It explained a fair bit. The last stanza was also good. You kept it flowing and on point. Though i felt you could've dropped slightly more substantial yet still subtle 'hints' of you being conceited.

..resp...