it seems you are very bent out of shape about this, love always
has a way of kicking you in the ass. Try to put less anger because
your pain is clouded. It still usually feels good to write out what
you feel anyways. Content wasnt that bad you made it pretty
vivid but its just lacking something....i know try to put some
metaphors that is what gets people hook on writing, and try
to space it out and make it clear when one sentence begins
and another one ends. Keep writing.

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<BR><h3><color=black><center><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=left LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 width=300>*~*~*Lady Wun*~*~*</MARQUEE></color></center></h3>
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<BR><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=up LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 height=100> <center><font color=000000><I>*~*~*~*~*</p>I'm invisible to the unseen eye</p>I'm undeniable strength</p>*~*~*~*~*~*</p>Merk Squad</MARQUEE></center><I>