LONG... and i mean damn it was long
Good thing you got right to the point, keep it short and sweet
LOL kidding

The guys above me said this but im going to break it down. the flow was off because your rhyme scheme wasnt consistent.. if you just stay on rhyming the last word of each the flow can be easier. 2nd aspect to flow is line lenght...easy check for that is just to say each line slowly to your self so you can see that one runs longer than the other... when that happens it hurts the verse. 3rd flow test, hardest is to do each line by a syllabul count... each person flows differently so find wich syllabul per line is best for you and stick to that

all that will make your pieces harder to do, but they will come out better

if that wasnt feedback what it... please hit me back
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84636