Ok, 'this was dope' replies donmt help anyone, so. .

Nice verse for the tourney, a little short to really get into / indepth with, you should of expanded it, made it longer and ran w. the topic a more. Its good that your using internals, but a lot were basic 1 or 2 syllable inners, you need to make them into 3 or 4 syllable multi's to make it dope, add some spice to it. Your flow was decent, although off in some areas, you seemed to sacrifice the flow for content / vocab, the long words at the end of the lines threw your flow off course in a lot of lines, imagery was decent, again, could of been better if you'd of extended this i felt, you had a few good lines in there, worded ok, nothing too quoteable, your transition needs A LOT of work, you drift from one idea to the other too quickly, its like you write two lines then go straight into a totally seperate idea, try finding ways to link them, you need at least 4 lines on the same subject to make it dope

i actually liked this, im just tired of kids saying 'this was dope' =- that helps no one. this wasnt legendary, you've done better, IVE SEEN you do better, YOU KNOW you've done better

it was good, i liked it, but yeah, you needed some real crit. = )