yo son this was hot and im glad i get to be the first to crit....
opening lacked needed more complexity.....
2nd bar was tight as shit.......
3rd you cluttered idead and i think some people might loose the depth os what you were saying....
watch it disinitigrate, incinirate my fate, realize ive been-in-hate, as sin-its-late//

atleast too late to turn-back, tryin to look over these fiends who burn-crack, strivin to churn-tracks, learn-facts, and all tha while ill earn-stacks, wit business that dont concern-macs//
had meaning but lost me seriously.

this post could of been much better but yo tackled multi subject and didnt go in depth in any of them your style makes this hot but your words make this confusing and forced.

stay up i know you can do better