I'm actually the first to bitch about proper structure in peices. But there are in fact times when it's not called for. Generally in emo-avant-garde peices. Like this one. Suprisingly I had no trouble reading this, but generally with peices that have this mud fluid flow, I'd have trouble. This one I didn't stumble, but others did. So that's cut.

Anyway... as for the actualy peice itself. I really really liked it. I mean, I don't like that you had some girl rip your heart out, I just liked how you were able to capture it so vividly.

Personally, the part where you say "its ok mom i'm ready to
go.tell kim this is for her", that's what really got me deep. I mean, really, when do we know when we are ready to die? And by saying it's ok, does it make it any better for our loved ones? Something I'm sure we've all thought about.

Anyway, I think it's good I've read one of your peices. Seriously, keep dropping. I'll try and hit you up with replys and forgive me if I don't.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.