This was a nice piece. You came out and said some things that threw me completely off, but in a good way. I just didnt see them coming up next, which is a good thing. It kept me at the edge of my chair.

Your flow is flawless, the content was nice eventhough I cannot relate to some of it because of where I live as do where you live.

Vocab was dope, you use some nice words and all. Can't say too much about that.

Multi's and rhyme scheme you need to up a tad bit, your multi's, I mean. Your rhyme scheme is solid, try to change it up every once in awhile though instead of doing it the same from start to finish. Throw a multi in here and there (you had a few, just saying a few more wouldnt hurt .. just dont force them)

And.. After that, the only thing I can say is get behind the mic!

pz..1
-salvation
hfe