Kick drum soudns weak. I mean I'm listening on a computer speaker set up, but if everything is compressed right, things should sound nice.

that sample is gettin old fast, too repedative. Snare is nice, could use some compression...

Where are the hi hats?

beat is pretty good. try composing more. the strings you added are nice..

delivery could some work.. your vocal rhythm was off.. but ya didnt even have hi hats so its aight..

lyrics seem pretty nice.. nothing that is catching me hardcore..

ya could come more clear vocally...

mixing is pretty good.. your need some compression on your vocals.. EQ needs some more mid range, just a bit... too much reverb coming off the high end s's and shit..

well thats my brief comment from a writer/ghostwriter/producer/rapper/studio enginger/radio personality/performer/studio owner .. lol.. my credentials add up.. and im jsut braggin.. lol (including its hard work)