this was quite simple but also deep in meaning
glimpses of imagery were present which helped the verse along its way
the emotion was in it but i think you somehow failed to express it fully...i think you just didnt connect the reader to the person u loved making it hard to have much feeling for them by reading
also the part about the train derailing ironically derailed my train of thought from the topic of love into a freight train lol
that threw me off....however it was enjoyable to read which is what this shits about so good job
peace