You had a lot of big words BUT it didn't come together as well as
it could have... the way it was put together was to simple, for
instance... (its to long to pull out all the pieces) you had the big
words but put it together with elementary type thinking.... you
cant try to rap while trying to do hip hop ( thats what it seems
like, not trying to dis). the structure was okay but it ran together
too much for me to follow a straight train of thought... I didn't
think you went off subject that much it was just a little shaky and
many of the sentences could have double meaning. Keep Writing.

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