I agree with all, you had a pretty good drop but there was some
shitty lines or some lines that kinda lost me a little that brought it
down, but it is still a good read. I have a lot of favorites in this,
parts that were really funny to me. You had good metaphors and
play on words. Your spelling of some words lost me a little bit too.

*amphizima *Emphysema .... At first I didn't know what you
were talking about then I thought about it... there is other small
ones that fu**ed me up more that this one but I don't want to go
through it all over again, that one just stuck out.


"when a make a verb out the word"

That line got me stuck.

Good structure and I don't believe you went off subject (then
again it was mostly a battle sounding type)

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<BR><h3><color=black><center><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=left LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 width=300>*~*~*Lady Wun*~*~*</MARQUEE></color></center></h3>
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