it was good... to an extent...
this is a hard topic to go to... but one that I havent seen done.
props on that...
but your styles a bit newbish...
try rewording what you say...(flip it around, experiment with
different ways to write your lines)
overall I thought this was a decent spit...
Ima checkk your other link... and if I like it,... your in...(the Omens)
~Ashy~