only the second piece ive seen u do
it was simple but i liked the scheme seemed to flow really well
as an intro it was solid
^like po sed (fuck fuck fuck the police!) a bit more complexity would help improve it
really liked the way the opener was structured and the lines...good shit
use of multies varying vocab imagery etc all spice up a verse and make it interesting to the reader so try to add them into your next pieces
good stuff none the less
and peep State of Paranoia for examples