first thing id say is its good to start on a strong bar, not rhyming the same word on 2 lines, but it pcks up after that, ive read the same sort of thing a few times, you could have chosen a more original subject, but not bad on the whole, you kept to the subject well, keep droppin.....peace!
return the favour and hit this plz.......
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=88249