this was a good piece,
felt a bit like a poetry piece, maybe it was the rhymescheme or structure,
vocab was hot,
i like the way you broke it down into 3 parts,it helps with the topic,
nice structutre,
different rhymescheme but it works,like i said it sorta makes it feel like a poetry piece,
overall i enjoyed readin it, keep it up

can you check out my empty casket piece