To be honest, I liked "mom Im sorry" and your other open mic better - youve got talent for emotional shit and your heaps good at it. but dont get me wrong, this was a pretty good piece. The flow was good through the keystyle, except at the point you tried to add some multi's in when u kinda flowed off... dont worry about that it just needs practice... i didnt really like the subject matter, its been done before (8 mile style), but you dropped the topic at hand very well so that doesnt really matter... rhyme scheme was good... the only thing i wasnt feeling was vocab, but i listen to canibus, so i guess i just crave all that dictionary shit... keep writing LM... your showing potential in battles and open mic

7/10