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Old 11-03-03, 03:56 PM   #35
Rob D
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Posts: n/a
IP:

chrit - i liked the 3 points of view, it shows you are open minded and creative,
you were consistent throughout the whole piece,
nice easy to follow rhymescheme,
but it was a bit simple,
interesting vocab,
the ideas you used were really good for example,

So forget your holy book... Implausable... A virgin had a boy?....

The Bible's sold? How is that for hypocracy....

Overall good piece,


Auspicious- this was a real emotional piece,
Good story telling,
This was more complex,
The flow was hard to get at first,
But after a while I got in to it,
Good imagery, and very descriptive,
I really got into this,
Only thing it could of done without was the hook,
Kinda weakened it but still good job,

Overall this was much closer than I thought it would be,
Both had strong points,
But overall auspicious just gets this,
Slightly better,

Vote=auspicious