You carved out a lot of emotion with this. Emotions that were mellow yet hard hitting. You didn't seem to emphasise it too much. You just told it, and it came through naturally.

I dunno why. But i spotted some parts which could've made this piece even more resounding and better written. Maybe it's cos i was reading it from both perspectives..writer and the subject matter - but both emotionally. Cos the subject itself is one that is fairly close to me. But i wont point them out. As they are trivial and this piece is what it is to me.

...resp..