this was simple
basic rhyme, alright flow
just a hint=poetry doesnt always equal rhyme
you dont want the rhymes in your line to seem forced, that always takes away from the effect poems have
your story was sincere though, nice emotion
try uppin your vocab and word usage, that'll help alot
nice drop
keep elevatin

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Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."