I think your vocab needs to be upped especially the words you rhymed. .I don't think it could of got any more basic. .I say every line had multis. .But maybe thats why you rhymed such, such simple words. .The content was okay. .Nothing really good, yet it wasn't wack. .Try using some more complex lines, ie. imagery, w/p, science(a different perspective thats real. .na'mean)

Pz