^ not too great...not horribly wack either....no good punchlines and your rhymescheme was weak...atleast you did have attempted multis and a decent flow....as a freestyled verse this woulda been dope but for a written/keystyle it's a little below average..just tone ya skills and take advice as a stepping stone rather than a diss....u'll get better with time...

peace

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<center> I.J.L</center>