Quick Tip
dont post two drops under one thread, especially when the belongs in a different forum

the first one was simple, the emotion was pure
in the begining it had an alright flow, but tghe last line or two threw it off b/c you stopped rhyming completely.. that messed it up for me b/c the rhyme felt weak since the start
poetry isnt necessarily about rhyming, its about portraying thoughts and emotion, making the reader feel it.. i think you should try more complex rhyme schemes or just deeper words if you want a bar for bar rhyme, you know

the second one should go in a rap forum...but.. it was missing something, the rhyme here was weak as well, you had a nice message but i dont think the words you chose portrayed them to the full extent
elevate your vocabulary...play with the words, get familiar with word usage

the emotion was clear

keep elevatin

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Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."