OKAY...i aint gona bother givin a verse feedback on this....
But...it seemed to be a moderatly good poem...

u need longer lines...and u need to set a good flow pattern....

after u get that done, improve things like internal rhymin and multies...

after that, ul have some skill....it just depends how ul use it....

then...THE MOST IMPORTANT....Ditch the Tupac shit cuz it wont gain u any respect....

I love his shit, and im a fan...but i would never write a verse on him or mentionin his name, unless i was asked to....
Holla my shit...give feedback..!!
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=87346
Keep droppin man...its the only way u get better....Good luck...peace..!!