Sharp Perfection.
From: HELL!!....and yet you think im jokin |
|
IP:
wasnt bad at all for a first poetry try
you should try working on an intro and outro to this piece thou, it seems more like a middle of a piece. And tell use more of a story, branch out more. you did a good job with getting feelings/emotion across, but you could work on discribing things deeper. vocab and flow were good in the piece, and structure worked.
~Tera~
DONT HATE
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~
keep singing in heaven
|