Wow, great job. You had a massive amount of imagery and it made it great. It made me think as if i was actually standin there livin through it. That is one of the key things in poetry. If you can picture it, you live it, you enjoy it and it hits you hard. Structure and everything was great. Overall great job and I really enjoyed it. It hit me pretty hard, which not much stuff does. Great job. Keep it up. Much respect.