i actually got the word play on this piece, had a nice effect on the whole poem overall, certain lines you could really feel the ups and downs, and then the end was like the final drop comin back to the beginin("I really hate to be frank…but a name change solves nothing
Ive been a cursed production…and life wont stop fucking!
Conceived to a life of busking…it beggars belief im breathing
I struggle to find a meaning…beyond the horizon of treaties
Surrounded by rows of tree leaves…at one with animals it’s a wild life
I simply pray for mild nights…but perhaps anguishs' numbed by frosts bite
I havent lost this fight despite…having memories jogged by the runners in this Park Life") that there just seems like the payoff.
overall word play was great, awesome flow, structure was ok, good multis/similies. i fi was rating this 9/10-only b/c i really got into it. keep uppin, really enjoyed the piece