I can relate to this...many times i think people lose touch of there
selves while trying to find someone else.... what you wrote kinda
sounds like the game men and women play in a relationship...
once things go bad they just do mean and vengeful things b/c
they feel they cant get out.

"I lay between your legs and I'm twisting your mind
And what do I find? I find that I'm blind
I lay between your legs and I'm twisting your mind
And what do I find? I find that your not kind"

this seems to be the strength to your piece... it lets on about the
mystery of what exactly you could be doin to twist a mind...


"I stop trying to mold you and I let you be free
And this means nothing to me except the possibility
That you could be between my legs twisting my soul
Oh why you feel cold? Hey baby why you feel so cold?"


i really like these lines but the last one doesn't really stand up to
the others....


"I force myself between your ears and I'm raping your mind
And what do I find? I find that your blind
I force myself between your ears and I'm raping your mind
And what do I find? I the find the light will not shine"


i liked the touch with the use of the phrase "raping your mind"
but im no so sure that the ears part has the kind of "force" as
raping your mind had... but the first part leads you to believe
its about sex... until you say your raping the mind... which is
or could be worse...

down side is you didnt really stay with same rhyme scheme
throughout the entire piece... but it didnt really hurt it that much
its still a good piece...and worth the read.. Keep Writing.

__________________
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