This poem was delivered extremely well. the language use was...not magnificant but very well done.
The use of language made up in narrative descriptiveness what was lacked in imagery...but I don't think this was about images.
However, I do think that with the steps you took for the vocabulary use in this you could have gone that extra bit to polish it.
just an opinion.
but it was alright.
.peace.

__________________
I'm a goblin hooked on rails, stuck drinking ale/ I'll rip the horn out a unicorn and shove it up your fairy tale.