*listenin*
mmmm...the start is ok but not on any beat, flow is ok but very unpolished...some words slurred/unclear. Not a lot of emotion. Are you black? you don't sound like it but i hope so if you sayin' nigga...your lyrics are tight but i have to listen extra close to get your message cause of the lack of emotion and your delivery. Nice beat. This would be twice as tight if you worked on your delivery i.e. enunciate your words and make them more clear. You need that clarity and an improved mic presence and then this would be a descent drop. As is, i'm not really feelin it. Let me know when you drop some new shit!

p.s. Also i saw that you used the excuse that this was written as a poem and not for a beat, well then don't rap it to a beat if you can't get on it with that material cause that just exposes weaknesses. You should be able to put ANYTHING to beat anyway but just a suggestion if your havin trouble transitioning scripture and spoken word to beats.

p.p.s. check out Finishin' Moves (updated)
the link is correct and you can hear the cut, feedback. 1