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Old 11-12-03, 06:37 PM   #2
SmokaJoka.
InSaNe KiLlAh
 
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Posts: 1,402
From: E-Dub
IP:

^^word...i'm feelin this piece....i've also went through the same shit (ask Rapid)....u had good emotion...and thought here....ur vocabulary lacked...but other than that nice...here's my fav. lines.....

Quote:
From Twizted Ayngel:
I'll be waiting to see you again,
Its a better place for you in heaven,
Now its time to say goodbye,
You'll always be on my mind,
You taught me things no one else could,
You did things for me no one else would,
^^that's the truest thing i've read when put in a situation like that....good work...

BREAKDOWN
Emotion - Excellent
RhymeScheme - Very Good
Vocab - Good
Originality - Very Good
Concepts - Very Good
Overall - very nice poem from u....u had emotion...a good structure except towards the end....it consists of originality...only thing that was even flawed was ur vocabulary....good work...

Rating
8.5/10

peace
4:20
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