The message in this piece was nice, but you definately need to work on flow. It fell of in alotta places, that's probly due to you bein rusty ? I dunno, but the sketchy flow made it hard to read. I found my self stopping and re-reading lines to make sure I read um write, and that's just signs of choppy flow. The Vocab in it was ok, could be upped, but hey, it's a love piece, Didn't expect much. The different chorus' was a good touch, liked all three of um. When Multi's were present in the piece, ya flow shined. Maybe stick to a multi rhyme-scheme till you get things back to your level ? I've seen ya other shit man, it was ill, had much better flow then this. Keep Droppin tho, as overall, this was sub-par compared to others.

-Formula.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=91167
^^ Hit that up with some feedback and also head to Corrupted Visions under H.I.V. We're lookin for some talent.