this was a dope piece..... it has prolly the best intro i have ever read by far.... the flow was... well, flowing very well.... it never went off, so it sounded dope when i read it.... the emotion and meaning in this piece is outstanding, and it gets better and better as the song goes along... you have some talent for painting pictures in my mind, and you describe things very well... your storytelling is top notch... u might have a bit of nas in you lol....

the only thing i found wrong with the piece, is u didnt use multis.... but it didnt affect the piece too much, the emotion overshadowed the actual lyrics.... keep writing

9.5/10

check out my open mic, "Mind Theory" please... thanks