I really liked it. I read it a few times, just to understand the key points being made, the format was good, but there was only a line I might point out. "i've heard the future is going to be bright like the sun,
but, totalitarionists,* want all of us to be as one,"
when your writing your phrases all of the other lines don't rhyme, just this one. and it kinda made the piece unbalenced, other than that I really liked it....keep on writin' good ideas man