Guest
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IP:
interesting. to say the least
rhyme scheme was extremely basic, u may want to try and devlope it so it doen't look so "simplistic" and rushed...poetry doesn't have to rhyme, it may be easier for you to just write without any rhyme scheme, then u don't need to worry about that aspect, and just write what u feel. when u can write from the heart, etc, THEN try to incorporate a rhyme scheme...but if u sacrifice content for rhyming, then ur headed in the wrong direction..
NOW, im not saying ur content was bad..it's different but you DID express what u wanted to express, for the most part.
keep truckin'
cheers
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