I didnt really like this, flow was hella off as i read it due to the long bars, it stretched the fuck out out of the flow and made it boring to read. More multi's and internals might of spoced this up a little more, but as a whole, i wasnt feeling this. You seemed to drift between ideas to quickly, transition was off because of that, wording needed improving to keep the readers attention, and dont tray sacrificing flow for content - which is what happened here - you tried fitting too much into too large a piece and that threw it off for me.

Not hating, just some constructive critisism.

Peace!

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