honestly this really didnt make much sense to me especially wit da fact i got lost after this line "i cant explain the hatred i got, its like wat Big had 4 'pac.." which so happens to be da only ill line in da whole piece, u need to keep ur mind more focus on da point of da subject ur on if u want to make it more detailed...concentrate on what u are trying to express and im sure it will sound hotter and like my mans said before change up da vocab it will help u to be able to deliver in greater detail.....but all and all nice try