well as a whole it was good.. at the end it kinda fell off....
you didnt have to throw in all those "motha fucka" 's they
didnt really give anything to the piece in one particular sentence
"like a mother fuckin whole..."
the other time you used it before that it gave the piece a sence
of anger at being haunted... but using curse words all the time
doesnt always help... as far as vocab it was decent and your
structure was pretty good just try to make them the same
amount of syllables (not exact but round about). Good read
though.... Keep writing.

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<BR><h3><color=black><center><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=left LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 width=300>*~*~*Lady Wun*~*~*</MARQUEE></color></center></h3>
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<BR><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=up LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 height=100> <center><font color=000000><I>*~*~*~*~*</p>I'm invisible to the unseen eye</p>I'm undeniable strength</p>*~*~*~*~*~*</p>Merk Squad</MARQUEE></center><I>