this was a real good read, first and formost i give yall much repsect for this
i like how deacon started it off and really portrayed and played the element
Quote:
"As the sky fills with silence,
The wind blows through my landscapes
As the dirt below carries my grain,"
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i liked that right there, you set it up to make the rest of the piece easy to comprehend...nice nice
Quote:
Expel me through your lips, upon my
Rollercoaster of air
Condensation hangs on hips, after washing
Away an affair
Daring to touch sacred droplets, as I gently
Show you I care
Vow to vaporize friendships, forever searching nowhere
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Calisto, this is a real strong opening, it drew me in completely, i'm feeling the connections and you drew some pictures in my head, really made me think (or maybe i just over-analyze) but w/e, i liked it
Filed, your part was nice, i like how you went about it, when i first read your piece, i found it different from every1 elses in a way that brought the piece down, but i looked again and i really liked the whole message you have there...every line contributed and praised the line that followed
Quote:
I exist as that everlasting puppet master with invisible
Strings..uplifting spirits as they spread out their wings
Throughout these phases saved them always...
................
Some found the man upstairs some lost the truth and
Missed him..along the obstacles some leaves stick to the
Soggy mud surfaces and call it crew..transform to victims
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Content, let me tell you, these two lines right here had me like DAMN, literally, i like your style, you have talent if i dont tell you anything else, your verse was strong, you also had some nice imagery
in a way deacon wrote as himself being the earth,and every other element wasnt fully written like that, but it didnt take away from the piece being as though the earth is the main element, in a sense
i liked the whole concept, ....elements,..... real creative
im lovin it
everyone's talent complimented the others
nice collab
props to everyone
didn't mean to write a novel, but...what can i say