Sorry, but I'm gonna go the same way as everyone else...

Nok'd...

Your verse needed a better rhyme scheme.

Badly.

Your story started out very cool, and as a father, I was relating...

Then you turned it into some gang-bang domestic violence sounding type of thing and pissed away what you'd built.

Looked like you hit writer's block and decided on a cheap, shock value type of way out.

6/10

Tactix...

Very basic and elementary verse on your part but you did something I appreciate...

You put alot of heart into it and I could feel what ya were going through.

And, you added a nice little twist at the end, utilized some wordplay, and ended your story on a good, positive note...

Rare ta see.

6.75/10

Winner: Tactix

__________________
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For my convenience, not yours!