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IP:
Flow was there but your internals and multi's are madd basic .. like only one or two syllable rhyming .. that took away from the piece in my opinion .. it was too short to really get indepth over .. that didnt help with it either .. seemed to decline as it continued IMO .. not really a lot there for me to criticise so basically .. just keep practicing i guess .. try writing to a proper topic ..
Zp.
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