the emotion was present in this piece
it seems as if you wasnt sure on what you was going to write about, you jumped for one thing to another, it made the piece sort of shaky, but the same emotion was kept throughout the piece, so that kept the reader on track.........
this was an ok piece
keep elevatin
~Sage~

__________________
~.:Soft Focus:.~
{--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --}
{-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-}
{--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--}
{-Thrust (\_/~\_/) Know1 (\_/~\_/) Emotion-}
{ --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--}
Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."