This was an ok piece
looks like something i read on here a couple days ago, similar concept
it looks like im late on this one, but anyways
i think you could've got deeper into each thing you said, it's like you just tapped the surface on thoughts you could have dug into to make it more interesting and make the reader understand a little bit more
the vocab could've been elevated along with that also
overall ok piece
keep elevatin
keep writin
~Sage~

__________________
~.:Soft Focus:.~
{--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --}
{-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-}
{--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--}
{-Thrust (\_/~\_/) Know1 (\_/~\_/) Emotion-}
{ --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--}
Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."