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Old 11-22-03, 02:40 PM   #10
Baron Mynd
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From: England
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yeah, it seems like cani's influenced you .. your vocab is good, although, it dosent suit this piece and its like you over did it and sacrificed content for vocab .. that took away from the piece i felt and effected your content through it .. its nice to see you have internals, but a lot of them are basic rhyming and not really up to much .. try to use more multi's in your pieces, but dont over do them .. also, your flow is off like woah as i read it .. you need to shorten up your bar lengths .. the hook was alright but not really needed .. seemed pointless to me .. but ehhh, your choice.

just constructive crit from one open mic head to another.
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