You need to leave the 3 names or 3 links of people you left feedback on in here or this will get deleted...

But i thought this was good....you coud have structured it better though like line on top of line so its structured better but it was still a good read...the hook was pretty good.....your vocab was ok could be up'd though...just work on the structure and add some multies and internals.....overall it was pretty good....keep at it and keep dropping.