Thread: My Everyday
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Old 11-26-03, 01:39 AM   #2
SmokaJoka.
InSaNe KiLlAh
 
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Posts: 1,402
From: E-Dub
IP:

aight...overall a pretty good drop...ur structure needs to be fixed badly.....but u had a nice flow...nice vocabulary....good emotions....i can tell ur still rusty at this..but it's good to see u posting again...some parts of this didn't make too much sense...but here's the part that i liked the most...

Quote:
From SoLoE:
retaliation after funerals, emptying clips and reloadin// scoldin these kids, yo dont do what i did// grow accustom to the rap game, and sho ya mob how to make it big// my mob was deep til we laid mobley six feet//
^^even though anyone reading this did not know Mobley...he was tru...nice work and reference to real life....

BREAKDOWN
Multis - Very Good
Structure - Ok
Metas - Good
Creativity - Good
RhymeScheme - Good (lost me in some parts)
Vocab - Very Good
Flow - Excellent
Originality - Very Good
Emotion - Very Good
Overall - a nice drop....u had a good flow...good vocab....nice wording in some parts...others lost me...other than that...nothing else to say except fix up ur structure and u got it...

Rating
7/10

peace
4:20
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