Sorry dawg but I didnt like this too much, mainly because of the structure. It made the verse hard to read. But however there are signs of you elavatin if you sort out your structure and be a bit more creative. Read other open mics to learn the best ways of settin out your peice and then just practice. No hate, just my opinion. Keep practisin

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HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect